Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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