You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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