I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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