mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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