mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
