So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
