I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
