i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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