i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
