Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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