At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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