well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
