I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
