Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
