ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
