I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
