I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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