I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
