the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
