I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
im six kinds of drunk right now
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
