wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
How drunk are you?
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