i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
