You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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