Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
