I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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