You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
