Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
