Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
