Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
