hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
