his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
