no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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