do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
