i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
