so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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