It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
