why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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