i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
