my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
