dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
