i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
