Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
