i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
