Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
