So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
