If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
