North Korea, Best Korea!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
