i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
