So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
