My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
