His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
