my mouth tastes like poor choices
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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